Almost all of my happiness depended on her actions and attitude towards me. Because at some point of life, we’re all at the whim of our feelings and emotions.
I turned something that was light-hearted and fun for her, into something that was bothering & irresponsible. She turned out to be a stranger whose whisper I could recognize anytime, anywhere.
Sometimes the sunset is just a sunset. Sometimes an idea is just an idea, Sometimes fun is just fun. Whether we feel joy or frustration toward a situation, it doesn’t have to progress into a glorious or horrible fantasy.
Majority of things can be left as it is and enjoyed (or not) with simplicity.
My Love experience taught me what it felt like to believe in fantasies. It was perfect and painful.
When you are hit by true love, its enormity can transform your reality in ways you wouldn’t dare imagine. It hit me like a tow truck and I lost more than good sense in the wake of our separation.
The last time we said goodbye, my will to move on was vanished and the surroundings around me suddenly disappeared, I could feel my system shutting down, cell by cell, my body rejecting its will to go on functioning without her.
I’d learned over the time that the rare occasions my mind and body would awaken were when her name blinked across my screen.
I hated that she had no emotions left for me.
She could just say nothing because she felt nothing while I could feel every punctuation I wanted to say to her creating periods and semi-colons in my heart.
I hated that she could end conversations without goodbyes while all my million words of farewell chased her, trying to lunge in for one final embrace but instead diminishing into nothingness, unheard, unsaid.
I didn’t want her to actually fall back in love with me. I only wanted her to see me as the person I had become and realized that I am now everything she wanted me to be when we were together.
When we were together, I always strove to become someone she would want to be with. she makes me want to be my best because she deserves the best?—I’d say.
Was I going to spend the rest of my life a little in love with someone who would never love me back?
She never understood me and she never would.
I realized that the answers I kept searching for weren’t to the question “Why did you leave me?” but to the question “Could you promise me I won’t regret moving on?”
We each have something that keeps us holding on to an old lover. A dream left unfulfilled, a fear of what could lay ahead if we let go, or sometimes a fear of what we leave behind if we let go.
“Saying GoodBye is Never Easy But At the end Of The Day, It’s Memories That Lasts Forever”
I’ll be back soon, but don’t wait upon me…
don’t ever wait upon anyone.”
Story By:
Thakur Prabhash
CBSIT
